Why so many people are disconnected from themselves

Written By Jasmine Russell

A lot of people think being disconnected from yourself would feel really obvious. Or perhaps they haven’t even stopped to consider what feeling connected to yourself would feel like.

Often, people imagine disconnection would look like completely falling apart or having a huge crisis. But usually it’s much quieter than that.

It often looks like:

  • constantly staying busy

  • not knowing what you feel

  • struggling to rest

  • feeling emotionally flat

  • overthinking everything

  • feeling irritated or overwhelmed all the time

  • not knowing what you actually want

  • feeling disconnected from your body

  • feeling like you’re functioning, but not fully in your life

And interestingly, highly capable people often experience this.

Why?

Because humans are very adaptable.

If someone spends years prioritising survival, productivity, responsibility, achievement, or caretaking, the nervous system adapts around that. The mind becomes focused on managing life efficiently and doing things the way they’ve always been done - often at the expense of noticing internal experience.

Over time, people can become highly skilled at:

  • pushing through exhaustion

  • intellectualising emotions

  • disconnecting from bodily cues

  • overriding boundaries

  • staying externally functional while internally disconnected

This usually isn’t a conscious choice. It’s an adaptation.

For example, if slowing down never felt safe, a person may stay constantly busy.
If emotions felt overwhelming or unsupported, they may learn to analyse feelings instead of experience them.
If someone grew up needing to care for others, they may become deeply attuned to everyone else while losing connection with themselves.

The body and nervous system learn patterns based on experience - and those patterns tend to persist.

That’s one reason body awareness can become such an important part of healing and reconnection work.

The body is constantly giving information:

  • tension

  • fatigue

  • breath changes

  • gut feelings

  • shutdown

  • activation

  • ease

  • pleasure

  • discomfort

But many people were never really taught how to listen to those signals without judgement.

Reconnection often starts with very small things:

  • noticing overwhelm before burnout

  • recognising your limits

  • resting before complete exhaustion

  • identifying emotions in real time

  • moving your body in ways that help you feel present

  • spending time in relationships where you don’t need to perform

For me, healing is not about becoming perfect or endlessly calm.

It’s about becoming more connected to yourself over time.

More able to notice.
More able to feel.
More able to stay present in your own body and life.

Because when people reconnect with themselves, they often reconnect with other things too: joy, boundaries, meaning, relationships, creativity, play, purpose, and community.

And I think many people are longing for exactly that, even if they don’t yet have language for it.

If you’re longing for that too, body therapy can help support that reconnection - gently, slowly, and in relationship with another person.

Jasmine Russell